Monday, February 4, 2013

Groundhog Day’s Punxsutawney Phil Commits Suicide After Seeing Four More Years of Obama

Sunday, February 3rd, 2013, 9:51 A.M.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          (PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA) —Less than 24 hours after declaring he did not see his shadow but did see four more years of an Obama in office, Punxsutawney Phil, the famed weather-forecasting groundhog of Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, has been found dead in the town’s square. Adding to the shock and tragedy of Punxsutawney Phil’s death is its apparent cause: suicide,and the reason behind it.

Authorities say the prognosticating rodent took his own life over night, just hours after predicting an early spring Saturday morning along with four more years of Obama in the White House. Said a sobbing Punxsutawney Police Chief Thomas N. Fedigan Jr. to reporters, Sunday, “It appears Phil, our beloved groundhog took his own life by a single gunshot to his temple. A nine-millimeter handgun was found next to him. …There are no signs of foul play. A suicide note has also been found scratched into a wooden light pole near Phil.”

Clawed into the light post next to Phil’s frozen corpse were Phil’s last poetic and cryptic writs:“A thousand more years of winter to Obama’s mere four. I saw what I saw yesterday, thus can carry on no more!”
“This is a truly sad day,” Chief Fedigan said, “not only for Punxsutawney, but lovers of Groundhog Day everywhere, indeed, for the whole nation.”

Yesterday’s Groundhog Day was the first time Phil had been brought out of his burrow since the November 6th election, thus learning of a second Obama term for the first time. And apparently, according to the deceased marmot, seeing four more years of Obama in office was enough to send the long assumed apolitical hermit over the edge. Although Phil still remained composed and conducted his duties as usual throughout the 127-year-old ceremony Saturday, seeing an early Spring, and never letting on to the turmoil brewing within him after also seeing a President Obama in year 2017.


I read this on Facebook and I just had to share it.  It's so horrid. I am in the depths of despair.

Rest in peace, Phil.


dmarks said...

I see from the picture a gun crime! Time to eliminate the 2nd Amendment, and join the liberals in pushing for bad public policy that won't solve anything and will only make things worse.

Jersey McJones said...

I knew Punxsutawney was a Republican! No wonder all the irrational predictions and pointless endeavors! And he lives with his head in the ground! I knew it! ;)


dmarks said...

Jersey: So, do you think he is one of those Pennsylvania bitter clingers?

Right Truth said...

Oh that's great. I know some Conservatives that almost feel that way.

Right Truth

Teresa said...

I wish we could go in a time machine and fast forward past the next four Obama years. I can understand why Phil would have despaired over seeing four more years of Obama. RIP Phil.

Jersey McJones said...

Yes, dmarks, when it comes to that, I do. I think there are people who are so paranoid, so prejudiced, so afraid of change, they revert to fundamentalist ideology to reinforce their sense of security for themselves and their families. It's why crazy Islamist Fundies explode themselves in public squares, but to a far less malignant degree.

What Obama was saying, misrepresented in that sleazy little citation of yours, was that people sometimes over and miss-react to circumstances that are not as bad as they seem.

For example, a few smart gun regs could save a few lives. Or, a tax schedule more commensurate with expenditures could put the country on sounder footing. Or, we really don't have to be the police of the world.

Really! We're not that bad off! Obama is not going to turn us into Stalin's Soviet Union!


Always On Watch said...

Poor Phil!

Can't say that I blame him, though.

Peters Page said...

worse than Ground Hog day, we have Obama for 4 more years to deal with.

dmarks said...

Jersey: There was nothing sleazy about my quoting of one of Obama's worst gaffes in which he bashed people for expressing their First and Second Amendment freedoms. If anything is sleazy here, it is your commentioning Pennsylvania's "bitter clingers" in the same breath with terrorists.

I see a running theme here, where you accuse me of "sleaze" for looking beneath surface and analyzing some of your more out-there views. Such as when I gave your "economic nationalism" isolationist/xenophobia views a close look.

But I will agree that we need more smart gun regs, such as authorizing a lot more conceal-carry, etc. And I don't believe we should police the world, but we should fight back when terrorists attack us. And sorry, Jersey, the bitter clingers in Penn are not terrorists. And the US intervening when an entire nation is threatened with genocide (re: Bosnia, Israel, and Kosovo) is basic human decency.

dmarks said...

And it turns out that the bitter clingers in Pennsylvania weren't paranoid after all. With Obama's plans to stomp on these basic human rights protected in the Constitution, and even steal their guns (a specific policy now in New York State supported by ObamaCo), it turns out they were perceptive and prescient. Not to mention having every good reason to be bitter.

(And yes , commentioning in the previous comment was a typo)

Pamela's Page said...

Happy Black History Month Everybody

Here are some things my White friends BETTER NOT discuss during Black History Month!
Don't remind people that President Obama is still the President.
Don't tell me about how rappers are a "bad influence.
Don't bitch about the president being friends with Basketball players and rappers.
Don't remind me that Michelle Obama has a big rear-end.
And don't tell me that OJ Simpson is Guilty.

Leticia said...

dmarks, oh the humanity!! Darn that Phil!

Jersey, LOL! Okay, your comment had me laugh out loud. Very funny! Ha! Ha! Heee....

Debbie, poor Phil, just couldn't handle the shock. Someone should have pulled him sooner. Poor furry critter.

Teresa, yes, agreed. Poor Phil. Just couldn't take it all in.

AOW, he took the easy way and devastated too many people, he had some leverage could caused an uprising of some sort in the animal and human kingdom?

Peter, aarghh....don't remind me. That's such a harsh reality.

Pamela, alrighty then. I might break a few of those rules, though.

Leticia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ducky's here said...

You fringe righties should ignore Obama for a while and hunker down or you'll be too punched out to deal with Hillary 2016.

Suggestion: The L'il Ricky Retardo, Michele "Psycho" Bachmann, 9-9-9, and Rick "He's Drunk" Perry show isn't going to cut it any longer. You're a laughing stock.

Maybe electing Honey Boo Boo and Snooki as co Republican party chairs will bring new ideas to whats become an empty husk.

You guys are in one serious deep hole.

Leticia said...

Ducky, regardless of you rattling and babbling, God is still in control. I trust in that.

And furthermore, this was supposed to be funny. Good grief, get a sense of humor. I know you have one.

Anonymous said...

I see Duck is still bashing the mentally disabled.

Any of those 3 would make a better president than Hillary. Her being part of the Whitewater crime ring (a dozen convicted felons) and only escape justice by claiming she was above the law, will come back to bite her.

That, and the soaring costs and unavailability under Obama's "Less Affordable, Less healthcare" act. A lot of people will also be sore at the lost work hours due to OBamacare punishing employers for having people work more than 30 hours a week.

Jersey McJones said...

Wow, you really believe any of those clowns from the GOP primaries would make for a better president than Hillary Clinton? You really are just a partisan zombie, huh?

Please, God, do us all a favor, and turn off the Fox News and Righty Radio, and... THINK. FOR. YOURSELF.

dmarks, stop being sleazy. I did not call the people referred to in Obama's remarks "terrorists." Why do you have to be so sleazy all the time??? Have you no decency?


Teresa said...

Stop being a Leftist Zombie Jersey. Right radio and Fox news makes up something like 10% pf the news while your libs make up the other 90%. The libs distort the truth and you buy into the garbage they spew. There mis much more evidence to back up the claim that you don't and refuse to think for yourself than your claim about conservatives. You certainly are a useful idiot.

I pray that you someday you pull that huge beak out of the sand.

Teresa said...

Hillary is just as dangerous as Obama is to liberty for this nation. But I'd take Bill back. At least he understands the meanings of pragmatism and compromise unlike the current president, pretty much anyone else in his administration or anyone running the progressive groups.

Jersey McJones said...

Teresa, you have a very simplistic view of the media. The vast majority of news information we receive comes from commercial media, and that word, "commercial," is the key to understanding why we receive the information we do. Overall, it's what sells, not what is right or left. That's why I am always skeptical of commercial news and rely far more on direct sources and non-profit outlets.

Just the same, when you hear someone repeating exactly the same talking points you hear from the rightwing media, it's pretty clear where they're getting their information from.

As for danger to liberty, that's just silly paranoia. Only a Fox News Zombie would be fool enough to fall for that bogeyman nonsense.


Liberalmann said...

Thankfully, Teresa the turd blossom, Fox is on the decline:

Five Reasons Why Fewer People Trust Fox News Than Ever Before:

A poll released Wednesday by Public Policy Polling shows that fewer people than ever trust Fox News as a source for accurate news and reporting. Just 41 percent expressed trust in the network — down from 49 four years ago — while 46 percent said they distrust Fox. There’s an obvious reason why: Fox misrepresents facts and fudges its data to advance the conservative agenda. Indeed, it’s nothing like the “fair and balanced” network it claims to be. And, it seems, voters are catching on.....

Liberalmann said...

Leticia; yes God is in control:

Catholic Church enslaved 30,000 Irish women as forced unpaid labor in Magdalene Laundries until 1996

Liberalmann said...

The Pill and Women’s Wombs: ‘Graveyards for Lots of Little Babies’

Here’s what Swanson, harbinger of womanly death, would like 99% of the country’s women to be aware of:

I’m beginning to get some evidence from certain doctors and certain scientists that have done research on women’s wombs after they’ve gone through the surgery, and they’ve compared the wombs of women who were on the birth control pill to those who were not on the birth control pill. And they have found that with women who are on the birth control pill, there are these little tiny fetuses, these little babies, that are embedded into the womb. They’re just like dead babies. They’re on the inside of the womb. And these wombs of women who have been on the birth control pill effectively have become graveyards for lots and lots of little babies.

dmarks said...

Jersey said: "Wow, you really believe any of those clowns from the GOP primaries would make for a better president than Hillary Clinton? You really are just a partisan zombie, huh?"

It has nothing to do with party, and everything to do with policy. The others just have much better ideas. Remember, it was Hillary who tried to foist her wildly unpopular gulag healthcare plan which included imprisonment of individuals for the crime of seeking healthcare.

"dmarks, stop being sleazy."

I never am.

"I did not call the people referred to in Obama's remarks "terrorists."

Actually you equated these people who "cling" to these basic human rights with "crazy Islamist Fundies" who were suicide bombers. No, you didn't use the word terrorist. But you described the most well known type.

"Have you no decency?"

If you had decency, you wouldn't be so consistently sticking up for jingoism when it comes to foreign trade and other such matters.

Leticia said...

Not feeling good today, so I will respond to comments tomorrow.

Sorry. Just not feeling up to par.

Liberalmann said...

I often wonder if dmarks posts his ludicrous comments with a straight face.

dmarks said...

Sorry Lib. It was you who posted the ludicrous comments. You won't find any for me. But there are many from you. Like the outrageous claim about the Koch brothers buying the Wisconson recall election. Yes, you made it. I asked you for any evidence, and you entirely clammed up.

dmarks said...

Lib: "Think Progress" is a leftist pressure group which editorializes and does present news or facts. They are not a reliable source except to find out what blind partisans on the hard left believe. It looks like you have a mind so uncritical that it confuses the over-the-top opinions in that piece with facts.

Fox News, as it turns out in reality, lies and distorts no more and no less than any of the rest of the actual news organizations: which is very little.

Also Fox News has indeed been a frequent target of those on the left who believe all news should be left wing, and wish to censor anything does not conform.

Your wish for Fox News to decline, Liberalmann, is proof of your hatred of freedom of the press and the First Amendment. In sharp contrast, if I don't like a news channel, I choose simply not to watch. I am not an intolerant prig like you who seeks to have it wiped our, nor do I wish the channel any ill will. I just turn the channel, and don't get all fascist about it.

Teresa said...

Jersey, I to a degree agree with you about commercial news. Only a true believer in progressive policies or a person with their head in the sand who is oblivious and obstinate to reality would refuse to believe that liberty is being attacked. Reminds me of something Bonhoeffer said about certain people before/during WWII. And if you didn't view Fox News in a simplistic manner you wouldn't spew your drivel and the progressive mantra about Fox News that you do.

There could be two reasons for the Fox decline. There could be a number of people like myself who used to watch Fox News but don't now because they can't afford cable anymore. Or it could be because Fox News hired a couple hard leftists and have moved to the Left in the past year or so. Yes, they were balanced in showing both sides of the news when possible but now with some programs they may have moved to the Left. Something libs should love since you only seem to call liberal news truthful or real news even though in reality there is so much spin in the liberal (MSM) news that it gives persons the dizzy syndrome.

Some programs are opinion programs and some are news programs on Fox. Duh... Just like some of CNN.

Teresa said...

It is obvious that Libmann hates diversity of thought. So much for diversity.

Magpie said...

Gunshot wounds are real funny are they? Interesting fetish to giggle over.

One of your wacko legion dropped by my place to post a link to something about the fun of murdering negroes. Apparently that was about Obama too.

I deleted that filth immediately.

A bit sick, I thought, but, heh, that's how you guys roll.

Jersey McJones said...

Okay, Teresa, how is our liberty under attack?


dmarks said...

Which one of our legion, Magpie?

dmarks said...

By the way, Lib. Still waiting for you to back up your accusation of election-buying in Wisconsin.

Teresa said...

There have been attacks on religious liberty. But beyond that I had an extremely rough day dealing with the after effects of a hysterectomy so I'll answer tomorrow.

Jersey McJones said...

Wow! Hey, good for you for actually blogging after serious surgery! You must be one tough gal! Feel Better!

Ciao, JMJ

Teresa said...

Sorry JM I didn't mean to give you the impression that I just had a hysterectomy as in like within the month. I had a hysterectomy in September but it was a huge decision for me because hubby and I don't have any kids. But I made it through 16 yrs of dealing with endo and my options were very few and neither good. I had been off of hormones for 4 months and just started on them two weeks ago. Sorry, I didn't mean to mislead you.

Jersey McJones said...

Hey, I've been with my wife for 17 years now. We don't have kids either, and for relatively similar reasons (health-related stuff). We rescue animals. I guess for us that's our family.

I hope you feel better all the time, now and through the future. And you still must be one tough gal! And your husband must be one tough dude! ;)

Ciao, JMJ

Teresa said...

I am sorry that you and your wife weren't able to have kids either.

Thank you very much Jersey. You are so kind.

That is awesome that you rescue animals. All kinds? horses?

God Bless,


Leticia said...

Well, I was going to comment but it seems you all are doing just fine without me, lol!! I am sort of glad.
I am still not feeling all that great.

Thank you all for being so understanding.

To Jersey, Teresa is a trooper, she is one very strong lady. AND to you both, I am truly, truly sorry about the children situation.

However, I honestly believe that your pets are your children, they are indeed family.

A said...

There's more to this than meets the eye. Groundhogs have no opposable thumbs so he was...MURDERED!!!

Leticia said...

A, oh my gosh!!

Who killed Phil?

Spidey said...

So we got 12 inches of snow!

Leticia said...

Spidey, so not fair!

radar said...

I could certainly understand how Phil would be feeling...being that close to the new Evil Empire he could no longer stand seeing the USA beginning to look like the Depression-era Germany. Barack Obama loans money to Islamofascists so they can purchase weapons of war from us! Homeland security is stockpiling ammunition while the Obama Adminstration is looking for ways to limit the weapons AND ammunition civilians can have. Senior military officers are being required to agree to fire upon US citizens to stay in command positions.

Did you see that Democrats are trying to overturn the 22nd Amendment? That the Senate will not pass a budget? That Obama is using executive orders to rule by fiat? He is blatantly expanding the power of the Executive Branch and mainstream media issues nary a peep.

How could someone convert the USA into a socialist state run by a tyrant, like the USSR was, like Cuba and Venezuela and North Korea, etc? Collapse the economy, set off panic and desperation, declare martial law, suspend elections, confiscate weapons from citizens and then take control of the voting system so that an overwhelming vote for the "correct" candidates is automatic.

Do you know your history? If not, you are probably a brainwashed liberal who does not see what is happening. We will become a society of a few rich and many poor if the Obama Administration succeeds.

dmarks said...

"Barack Obama loans money to Islamofascists so they can purchase weapons of war from us"

I thought he was directly giving both cash AND weapons to one of the Middle East's major terrorist kingpins.