Rantings of a sci-fi geek, and mum.
The bit about “the more unusual practices” is a bit odd.I do not believe men were encouraged to have a taste for that back then, because it could include things the local vicar would frown on.The line given to brides was “close your eyes and think of England”, and it was implicit that they'd be lying face up.As an aside, not the expectation that the husband would be exhausted after a long day of robotic servitude.These weren't great days to be a man either.
I love the polite terms, "...suggest congress..."I often wonder how different things were, really between then and now. Hard to tell since this is such an intimate subject.It's hard to deduce, even from reading literature and history of earlier times, for you don't know if the writer was simply conforming to the accepted conventions of the time or not.From what I have read, it appears that it was not uncommon for wives to not let their husbands see them in just any old natural state. The theory was they wanted to keep the mystique alive, I guess.But then, I also had a buddy whose beautiful and charming wife would literally have a bad hair day and refuse to come out of the house--and not let anyone in either, so go figure. They're still happily married, btw.
"A times are a changing".We should not forget that women did not get the vote in Switerland until not that long ago either.I certainly believe in family values and I do remember life in the 60s but I also believe that society matures as we test ourselves and search for what is right, progressive but most of all correct.A last comment, you read this item and then you see life in a country like Egypt, Morocco, Indonesia and you see examples like that or worse and similarities to our life today - it just shows what is advancement and the pressures from various interest groups to stop it because they got a benefit out of it.The item reminds me of so many years ago in the early 70s when I had my first office and a secretary and her job description was to basically keep me happy, ensure my tea cup was filled, file papers and type. At the end of each year I had to fill in a paper from the Court (I worked for the court) regarding her performance and tick boxes like - clothes were neat and correctly creased, she smelt nice, did she use her lipstick correctly and just to point out the differences to today - it said "she".The times are most certainly a changing.
The world was happier and more peaceful in the early 60's??? Really???Weird.JMJ
Kudos to you on this blog.
Jersey said: "The world was happier and more peaceful in the early 60's??? Really???"I know you are being sarcastic... so I am with you. Peaceful doesn't mean happier. Jim Crow was in full flower in this time.
Yeah, right! We were married in the 60's, and that doesn't describe us then....or now!
Hi Leticia, i'm back. Hope you have been well.As for your post, well that explains the anger of the feminists of the past.
Look gang, I've been with my wife for 16 years, and I'll tell ya' this: If you think your spouse is your property, you will be sorrowfully disappointed. In the end, only a truly equal friend can be the spouse you're seeking. Whether you believe it or not, there is no perfect person. We can only work together to make a more, if only a little, perfect world.JMJ
Magpie, I can totally agree with that.Silver, believe it or not my mother always looked pristine when growing up and encouraged us to always keep ourselves lovely for our husbands. That didn't work, lol!Charles, that's horrible that not only your secretaries performance was checked but her appearance as well? Talk about pressure for the poor woman. Jersey, not for women, apparently. My friends and I laughed over this little tid-bit. Not gonna happen in this day and age. Women work just as hard as men and still expected to keep the house clean, etc. Not fair at all. I applaud you fully for what you said about your wife. You two sound blissfully happy and it does take work to keep it strong.Timothy, thank you! And welcome.Linda, I can't any woman would go through all of that, but if this was written someone followed it.MK, exactly. I probably would have joined them at least for this bit of garbage. Glad you are back my friend, you have been sorely missed.dmarks, you know the women weren't happy and probably to some point irritated the men as well. Marriage is not a utopia.
Women actually followed those rules? I doubt it!Maybe my grandmother's generation did (She was born in 1898), but my mother's generation did not; my mother was born in 1916. Not in the UK, though.
Jersey: You mean my wife is not my property???I find it fascinating that your perception is so skewed that you felt the need to preach that moralistic little sermon to us cavemen on the right.
AOW, I am sure there were some women who felt they had to. Who knows, not going to happen in my household, heck no!
Wow, it sounds like more the 30's, don't you think? They went from THIS to 'burn your bra' so quickly?! :-)My mother used to go get more lipstick on around the time Dad got home from work; I thought it was sweet and said a lot about their relationship (big love).I have a friend who's 73 now, very pretty woman still, and she wears false eyelashes and gets up before her husband to put them on in the morning. I think that's a little nusto, but...it works for him, I guess.I'm with Silverfiddle...the term "suggest congress.." stuck out at me! I personally think this advice is extreme and even silly, but I'm pretty big on being available to one's husband if there's love and respect and all those good things....Dr Laura used to say "act like you're enjoying it if you're not in the mood because...it'll put you in the mood! .." I think she was right :=) (not to be indelicate here..sorry, Leticia!)
The Feminine Mystique pretty much blew open this nonsense.
the vows used to include -for the woman- OBEY-now they do not--Carol-CS
Z, my mom was the same way, and when we were growing she always told us to be presentable at all times, husband or not. It was just being a lady. Not a problem, we are all grown-ups here, lol!! Ducky, you think? Carol, I never agreed to obey, but was kind of forced to, I am sure you know my background. But, marriage should be a partnership not a dictatorship. And if the woman doesn't care to do all of those things, well, whom I to judge. I, wouldn't.
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